


Shadow the Inquisitor

by DragonbornLives2665



Series: Shadow's Adventures in Different Universes [3]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, Family Fluffs, Funny, Implied/Referenced Abuse in a couple oneshots, Inspired by First Playthrough, I’ll chill with the tags XD, Mental Illness, Now Second Playthrough, One-Shots, Shadow has Issues, Shy Inquisitor, Who doesn’t have issues?, fluffs, mage inquisitor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2019-05-13 06:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 19,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14743373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonbornLives2665/pseuds/DragonbornLives2665
Summary: So, I started a second playthrough/stream on the game and deicded to write some more fanfiction. Most of these are oneshots, but there is a small story interspersed. “Unexpected Surpises”, those chapters link together. The other ones are really just oneshots that may or may not have one that it directly links to.





	1. Cards

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s my version of the card game scene. I changed some of it to how my character would react more.

Cards

 

(Shadow)

“ _There_ you are, Ice! I’ve been looking all over for you!” Varric stops me as I walk by, headed to my room to maybe read or something to get away from all the people. “You’re just in time. We almost had to start without you.” He always seems to know how to peak my curiosity.

 

“Uh, whut exactly were yeh gunnah be startin’ without meh, now?” I ask, but he just gestures for me to follow him. “Okaaayyy...”

 

“I found her, Ruffles! Deal her in!” He announces as we walk into the tavern.

 

Everyone at the table turns to us and I stumble in my walk, barely enough to be noticeable, as old fears well up before I quickly remind myself that these are my friends and they wouldn’t hurt or torment me about things like my speech issues or the fact I’m a mage or my near-horrendously scarred body or my naturally silver hair or how I am in love with my ambassador.

 

“I do hope I recall the rules. It’s been ages since I’ve played a game of Wicked Graces.” My girlfriend says as I take the seat next to her.

 

I snort a small laugh at that and she glares lightly at me for it, only making me struggle not to laugh more.

 

“We playing cards or what?” Iron Bull asks impatiently.

 

“...Are three drakes better than a pair of swords?” Cassandra asks with a frustrated noise and a funnily scrunched face (almost making me laugh). “I can never remember.”

 

“Seeker, remember how I said ‘Don’t show anyone your hand.’? That includes announcing it to the table.” Varric simply tells her and she grumbles quietly.

 

“He has a crown on his head, but a sword, too. His head didn’t want either” Cole mumbles loud enough for everyone to hear and I can only guess he’s talking about one of his cards, the king maybe.

 

“Don’t talk to the face cards, kid.” Varric calmly says with a small chuckle.

 

“You seem to have enough people. I have a thousand things to do.” Cullen tries to get out of the game when Dorian speaks up.

 

“Losing money can be both relaxing and habit forming. Give it a try.” The Tevinter mage says.

 

“C’mon, Cullen!” I say to try and help. “At least one game, oh great commander!”

 

“Curly, if any man in history really needed a hobby, it’s you.” Varric adds and we get Cullen to retake his seat.

 

Next to me, Josephine starts us off.

“Dealer starts. Ooh... I... believe... I’ll start at... three coppers! Do you think thats too daring?” She looks at me as she says this and I just shrug. “Maybe I’ll make it one... No! Boldness! Three coppers!”

 

I try not to smirk or snort a laugh at her bumbling and I am just able to stop myself from making a sound. She still looks at me suspiciously though.

 

Bull tosses his coins into the pile loudly.

“Seriously? Who starts at three coppers?! Silver, or go home!” He announces.

 

“Sounds good, I’m in.” Blackwall adds his coins to the pot.

 

“Bolder the better, right? I’m in.” Dorian tosses his coins in.

 

“Me, too.” Varric’s coins make the pot bigger before he turns to me. “Well? Are you in?”

 

I smirk at him and answer.

“I’m in an’ raisin’ ‘nother silver.”

 

Josie raises an eyebrow at this, but I just smile as Cullen scoffs.

 

“You haven’t even looked at your cards!” He exclaims.

 

“Our illustrious leader is betting we’re bluffing.” Varric tells him and I just chuckle, leaning back into my chair and finally picking up my cards to see them.

 

Not a _bad_ hand, but not the _best_ either. I really hope they actually are bluffing.

 

“You _are_ bluffing.” Blackwall points out and I’m relieved that it seems that Varric is indeed bluffing.

 

“Now just gottah figure out the others...” I mumble quietly, unintentionally out loud and my girlfriend nudges me. “Huh? Oh, sorree...”

 

That first round doesn’t go in my favor, so I kinda tune most of the conversations out for a bit to focus on the cards. When I finally start listening again, Cullen is in the middle of a story.

 

“The poor recruit ran out into the dining hall in nothing, but his knickers! And this... profound silence fell over the hall as seventy mages and thirty templars all turned to stare at once.” He is saying and I force myself not to laugh. “Then this slow applause began. And spread until every soul was on their feet. A standing ovation!”

 

“What did he do?” Josephine asks with laughter in her voice.

 

“Saluted. Turned on his heel and marched out like he was in full armor.” Cullen responds.

 

Blackwell guffaws heartily as Cassandra slams her hands on the table.

 

“He did not!” She says.

 

“Good man.” Dorian simply adds with a grin.

 

“Yeh gottah be fuckin’ kiddin’!” I struggle to yell as I laugh, leaning slightly on my girlfriend as I try to recompose myself.

 

“Your shitting us!” Bull joins Cassandra and I in disbelief.

 

“That’s how you know it’s true.” Varric says. “I could never put that in a book. Too unlikely!”

 

It’s quiet for a moment as I think of some funny story I probably have. It comes to me: my Harrowing. They’ll love it!

 

“I’ve got one.” I say to get their attentions.“Et was the night of m’ Harrowin’... I was standin’ in the middle of ah room full of templars an’ senior enchanters. As the knight-commander read meh the Chant, I got the naggin’ feelin’ somethin’ was missin’...” I pause to draw the suspense and smirk at their expressions.

 

“What was missing? Did you forget your staff?” He asks knowing I often ask him, Vivienne, or Solas if they had seen where I set it down after our trainings and sparring with each other or any of the rebel mages now allied with the Inquisition.

“Awwh, shut up yeh!” I grumble at him with a fake pout. “Yer makin’ meh not wannah tell yeh guys!...... I’m jus’ kiddin’. Course I’ll tell yeh.” I take a breath to keep from laughing so I can speak. “...Uhhh actu’ly... y-yeah... I was so super scared fer meh Harrowin’ I hadn’t slept well fer many nights befer then... I fergot m’ staff an’ then I almost fell asleep in the middle of the Chant!” I tell them. “When the Chant was almost over there was ah loudass bangin’ comin’ from the hallway an’... an’! A-an’...!” Josephine lays a hand on my arm knowing when I get excited my brain tends to stutter and repeat until I calm enough for my thoughts to flow properly.

 

I’m not dumb. Quite the opposite really. I just hate talking to people, especially nobles, because they hear me having issues speaking and automatically assume.

 

“Somebody’s pet rabbit had gotten out of et’s cage an’ was runnin’ free in the halls! Most of the Templars not in the Harrowin’ Hall were chasin’ et d-down. None of us in the Hall had any fuckin’ clue whut the hell as goin’ on out there ‘til the little bastard squeezes under the door somehow an’ starts hoppin’ around like he owned the place! Came right up teh meh an’ let meh pick ‘im up! Ah few exhausted Templarsbarged in ah couple minutes later teh find the bunny asleep in my arms! Natur’ly they all thought et was mine, but I’d never seen the little guy befer in m’ life! Animals jus’ seem teh like meh... Animals an’ young kids, I guess... They put meh in the Ostwick Circle history book, which the first enchanter kept under lock an’ key, an’ never spoke of it again.”

 

“Ha ha, not bad.” Varric says. “You don’t mind if I steal that one, do you?”

 

“Well done!” Dorian laughs. “You forget your staff and gain a rabbit as a prize.”

 

“You ought to tell stories more often.” Blackwall tells me and I get a bit embarrassed, fiddling with my cards instead of looking at them until Cole speaks.

 

“I liked the part with the rabbit. There should be more rabbits in stories.” I grin at the spirit who I’ve come to see as more of a younger brother, forever awkward like me.

 

Cassandra just laughs as my girlfriend grabs onto my hand, squeezing lightly.

 

“That was scandalous. It would ruin the Inquisition if anyone found out.” I know she is just joking, it wasn’t _that_ bad. “Tell it again!”

 

A few more hours pass as we play Wicked Grace and tell more stories. Josephine seems to be having quite a bit of luck.

 

“And the dealer takes everything! I win again!” She announces and I roll my eyes with a smile.

 

“Deal again. I’ve figured out your tells, Lady Ambassador.” Cullen says determinedly as he leans forward over the table.

 

I lean to Cassandra to ask, “uhh, did we jus’ make ah gambler outtah Cullen?”

 

She just shrugs.

 

“Commander, everyone knows a lady has no tells.” Josephine is answering Cullen when I lean back into my own seat.

 

“I want ‘nother chance teh win back meh dignity. Deal meh in.” I say and stretch my arms out, feeling my elbows pop.

 

I was really trying to win this time. So no distractions. Not even, uhh... what the fuck is Cullen doing... Where’d his clothes go?! Did he bet his clothes?! HE DID!

 

“Don’t say a word, dwarf.” The Commander of our forces tells Varric as the writer looks at him with a smirk.

 

“I tried to warn you, Curly.” Varric simply tells him and looks away with a chuckle.

 

I’m about to laugh, too, when my girlfriend distracts me.

 

“You won the whole pot! I knew you could do it, my love!” She says and I’m surprised to find she is right.

 

I didn’t even realize I had won. To be honest I was partially bullshitting them because I could barely remember the rules.

 

“I’m leaving. I don’t want to witness our commander’s walk of shame back to the barracks.” Cassandra says and gets up.

 

“Well I do!” Dorian says excitedly eyeing Cullen.

 

“Dorian, yer sooo gay...” I sigh.

 

“Speak for yourself!” My fellow mage points at my hand being held by Josephine.

 

“Shut up.” I grumble, blushing a little.

 

“It comes off...” Cole is mumbling loud enough for us to hear. “I didn’t know it came off!”

 

He gets up to leave followed by everyone, one by one. My girlfriend tugs on my hand as she gets up.

 

“You want to go for a walk?” She asks, but I shake my head.

 

“I’m kindah tired... Think I’ll jus’ head up teh bed.” I tell her and stand.

 

We hear Cullen’s hurried footsteps to the other door and I realize something.

 

“‘Ey, Josie?” I get her attention. “Where’s Sera?”

 

“Whozzat?... Did... Did I win?” We hear in the now silent tavern, Sera’s drunken voice.

 

“Seris’ly... She was under the fuckin’ table?!” I ask my girlfriend before sighing. “I’ll get ‘er up teh ‘er bed... See yeh in our bed?”

 

She nods and heads out for the walk she mentioned and I set about moving things back where they go around the tavern. Eventually I am forced to pick up the now sleeping Sera and carry her to her room upstairs. She can be very clingy... I manage to get her to hug a pillow instead of me after a few tries, leaving her to peacefully snuggle the thing as I head back downstairs to finish cleaning up, so I can go to bed myself.


	2. Mother of Wolves

Mother of Wolves

 

(Shadow)

 

“Inquis-... Shadow, no.” Cassandra tells me as I cradle a sleeping wolf pup and the others are squirming all around where I am sitting.

 

“Shadow, yes!” I say back with a laugh that Sera joins me in while Vivienne and Cassandra look almost slightly disappointed. “B-but fer real, these little guys are gonnah die out here!”

 

There is 8 little furry pups of many different variations of color, a bit bigger then the average wolf litter and they all seem to be open to having humans around. The parents, unfortunately, attacked us on sight and we were forced to kill them. As we were about to walk away I heard the whining of the pups where the mother had hidden them under a log.

 

“As they should. They’re wild beasts!” My fellow mage says as I just glare at her stubbornly.

 

“Dogs came from wolves...” I point out as Sera hesitantly sits next to me and I put the sleeping pup in her lap.

 

“Aw, they’re not so bad.” The elf giggles as the pup licks her fingers cutely.

 

The wonderful warrior in our well rounded group sighs before seeming to give in. “Fine. We can have some of the men from the camp bring a box down to carry them in.”

 

“I, uh, wannah stay near ‘em...” I mumble and my friends hear it. “They’re so young... A-all alone...”

 

(A later day, Skyhold, Shadow)

 

“Good luck convincing Josie to let you keep them up here.” Sera tells me as the two of us play with the pups in the small pen we made in the corner of my room.

 

We put different colored ribbons and strings on the pups to make them easier to tell apart. The one I can tell is the runt (he has a blue ribbon tied around his neck loosely) slumbers peacefully in my lap and I stroke his soft fur gently.

 

“I-I hope I don’ need et, but, uh... thanks.” I manage to say as we hear the door to the tower opening and feet climbing the stairs.

 

“Shadow? Cassandra said you and Sera are up here?” I hear my girlfriend’s voice and Sera snickers at (I’m guessing) my expression. “What are you two doing?”

 

She has reached the top of the stairs by now and is looking down on us and the pups in the pen.

 

“‘Ey, Josie...” I smile sheepishly with a wave of the hand I’m not using to hold a pup away from another as their little play fighting was getting a bit too aggressive. “How yeh doin’?”

 

“How am I doing?!” She asks. “Thats what you say when you have brought wild animals into our bedroom?!”

 

“I’m gonna go.” Sera tells us and slips past my love with only a little difficulty.

 

“Wild? They’re young! They can be trained!” I exclaim, returning to the argument at hand.

 

“How can you be sure?”

 

“DOGS WERE BRED FROM WOLVES!” I snap and a couple of the pups get spooked. “Oh no, I-I’m sorree, little buds...”

 

My girlfriend watches me shush the now whining pups for a couple moments before leaving.

 

“Why doesn’t she get it? These are the same as any animals’ babies, human or not. They need to be nurtured and taught. They can be better then what everyone makes them out to be! I couldn’t just leave them behind!” Cole appears suddenly at the edge of the pen, looking over the pups, but not seeming to be actually looking at them. “......I can’t believe her sometimes!... She looked so motherly. Maybe the pups can stay... No, wild animals do not belong there.” It becomes very obvious the first mind he read was mine and the second was Josephine’s.

 

“Didn’ I ask yeh not teh read m’ or Josie’s minds out loud like that when we are near?” I tell him, but I cannot stay angry at the spirit, knowing he is just trying to help.

 

“She is unsure. She wants to trust your judgement on this, but she is scared of what she has heard and seen of wolves.” He tells me and disappears quickly as I search for something I can chuck at him.

 

Setting the little runt aside, I stand and head to my desk to write a short note. When it is done, I head downstairs and to the door of my girlfriend’s office, pausing to listen to see if she is alone. After not hearing anything, but what I can tell is her pacing, I slide the paper folded in half under the door. Somehow it thankfully does not get stuck or anything and I run back to my tower.

 

(The next morning)

 

Josephine didn’t come to bed last night, but I know she came up here. I had fallen asleep in the pen, using my arm as a pillow as some of the pups snuggled up to me. When I woke up, there was a blanket draped over me and a sealed bottle of water had been set just next to me like I usually keep one on the nightstand near my bed. I can sip it if I wake up thirsty in the night. Only one person besides the servants would know that. The servants only start coming up here to tidy in the afternoon, so it could not have been them.

 

There is a knocking on the door and I sit up, letting the blanket slip.

 

“Come in.” I call down and hope whoever it is heard me.

 

Krem walks up the stairs and I’m a little surprised to see him.

 

“Uh, g’mornin’, Krem.” I say awkwardly. “Did yeh need sumthin’?”

 

“No, not really.” He says and looks at the pups. “I heard Sera calling you ‘the Mother of Wolves’ and...”

 

“Yeh wanted teh see the little buds?” I ask and get a nod. I snort a small laugh. “Heh, knew yer ah softie under that armor. They’re not exactly awake yet, but they should be when I get back from breakfast wit’ some food an’ milk fer ‘em.”

 

I run a hand through my hair that happens to match my warrior friend in front of me in all but color and he chuckles.

 

“I found it odd when we met that we keep our hair in pretty much the same style.” The Charger says and flips his brown hair slightly as I finish finger combing my own silver hair. “Did you want me to wait downstairs? So you can get ready?”

 

I simply stand and tug on my outfit until it is laying correctly again.

 

“That look ok?” I ask as I try to wipe off any fur I might have gotten on me from the pups.

 

“Looks good.” He tells me as he follows me downstairs.

 

My girlfriend is sitting at one of the tables when we enter the main hall with a book. I can’t exactly see the title, but there is a faint etching of a wolf’s head under the title on the cover. Krem notices, too, and nudges me.

 

“Did yeh eat already?” I ask my friend and he nods as I sit next to Josephine. “Oh, well, if yeh’d like somethin’ teh do while I eat, yeh could go ask the cooks teh make somethin’ fer the pups wit’ meat an’ ah little veggies, but make et very, very mushy. An’ two bowls, ah bottle of milk, an’ ah bottle of water...”

 

“Ask cooks for mushy food that is meat with some vegetables, two bowls, a bottle of milk, and one of water. That all?”

 

“Hmmm... I’m pretty sure. I-if anythin’ else comes teh mind, I’ll get et m’self. Thank yeh, Krem.”

 

“No problem.”

 

I see Josie looking at me as the Charger walks away.

 

“Krem heard Sera talkin’ ‘bout the pups... I guess I am ‘the Mother of Wolves’...” I tell her. “He wanted to see them, but they are still asleep. I’m glad they are asleep still, teh be honest. Movin’ ah young animal like we moved ‘em can be very scary teh the animal... Et prob’bly helped they weren’t separated at all...”

 

“The Mother of Wolves?” She asks and I blush as I grin.

 

“Et sounds ah bit intimidatin’ doesn’ et?” I chuckle and she joins me quietly. “Whut yeh readin’?”

 

“You can see what I’m reading.” She says back with a light scowl. “I... I am still not sure if I am okay with those...” She stops to look at me for a second. “pups in the room we sleep in like that.”

 

“They won’ be able teh get out of that pen, Josie. Et’s teh tall fer ‘em at their current size. I’ll of course make et taller as they get bigger an’ ‘ventually they will be moved teh, I dunno, the stables?... Right now they are teh young an’ weak teh be alone fer teh long.” I see Krem and two servant girls carrying what I asked him to get. “I, uh, I gottah go, Josie... I love yeh.” I glance around and when I notice the hall is almost deserted and the few here are not paying attention, I peck a kiss to her cheek before rushing to Krem and the servant girls, helping them carry the stuff easier.

 

(A couple days later)

 

The pups making quite a lot of noise draws me from my dreams. As I am struggling to open my eyes, I hear a familiar giggle that makes me think I am still dreaming.

 

“No, you can’t eat that.” A voice says and I roll over to face the pups’ pen. “That’s the bottom of my nightclothes.”

 

Sitting in the middle of the pen is my girlfriend and the pups are trying to chew on her clothes.

 

“You’re awake, my love.” She says and turns to me. “I... I have decided.”

 

“Huh?” I mumble as I swipe at my eyes before getting up to join her in the pen, not failing to notice the runt curled up in her lap, asleep as always. “Yeh decided?”

 

“I think the pups should stay. And I... I want to help you take care of them.” She blushes. “If you’ll want me to?”

 

“Why wouldn’ I want yeh teh take care of ‘em wit’ meh? They’re almost as bad as little children. Two sets of eyes watchin’ ‘em are better then jus’ one.” I laugh as one pup licks at my leg while I am leaning over to give my Antivan girlfriend a kiss.

 

“If you are the Mother of Wolves, what does that make me?”

 

“Hmm... I dunno... Maybe Sera will come up wit’ somethin’... Though currently... I, um, I think we both count as Mothers of Wolves...” I blush and avoid her eyes. “I mean, uh... n-nevermind...”

 

“They are quite like young children.” Josephine observes and I know she is smirking. “As we take care of them, I guess you could say that we are now their mothers.”

 

I nod and move to take the runt from her lap, moving the small boy to look in his face. The bleary, cracked open caramel eyes of the pup watch me as I look at him.

 

“G’mornin’, tiny puppy...” I baby talk to the little guy and kiss his head as my girlfriend watches. “Cute, little runt. Yes, yeh are! Yes yeh are!”

 

I hear chuckles to my left and I pout at her before lips capture mine.

 

“I love you, Shadow.” Is whispered when she pulls away and I answer right back by diving in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished the game and the dlcs! It was amazing! ———just wanted to say that———


	3. Changing Like the Wind (Part One)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I told myself a while ago that this oneshot collection would not fall to the same issue of ‘parts’ of oneshots that plagues my others (mainly the fallout one)... However, I just needed to get this one up for reasons and I still have yet to decide how I wanted it to end... Normally, I just scrap the oneshot if I reach a writers block, but I really wanted this one up. If I finish the end before a day or two, I’ll just reupload it as a full one instead of seperate parts.
> 
> ALSO, I finally picked an image for my profile pic. It’s been, what? Over a year?

Changing like the Wind (Part One)

 

(Shadow)

 

I sit in my room at my desk just staring off into the distance, not really looking at anything at all.

 

“Does anyone really care that I am still up ‘ere an’ breakfast has already passed? They prob’bly want teh know where the Inquisitor is, not Shadow...” I mumble and force my eyes back to the paper I’ve been idly doodling on the couple hours I’ve been up, not even sure what I was wanting to draw to begin with. “Can’ draw at all...” I crumple up the parchment and chuck it randomly towards the stairs.

 

“You shouldn’t throw things.” Cole says as he appears next to me.

 

“Andraste’s tits! COLE! How long yeh been in ‘ere!?” I demand. “I thought we all told yeh not teh fuckin’ scare us!”

 

“You are not alone. Not like in the tower, the Circle, at home.” The spirit continues his little speech, ignoring me. “People care about you.”

 

“They care ‘bout the great Inquisitor...” I deny with a grumble. “I-I-I can’ even get m’ fuckin’ ass out bed some days. Can’ even talk teh people. Can’ stand touch on most days... can’ be brave... can’ even be confident fer fear I’ll screw everythin’ up! I-I’m not the one thats gonnah save us all... How can I save us... i-if I can’ even save m’self?

 

“You’re not going to do it by yourself.” A new voice scares me and I almost jump out of my chair, my magic making my arms frost over with ice and crackle with lightning energy. “I didn’t mean to startle you!”

 

“...Whut’s done is done.” I mumble and avoid the ambassador’s eyes, forcing my magic to obey me once more. “Is there somethin’ yeh n-need? There’s... no other reason yeh’d be up ‘ere, right?”

 

“I came up here to check on you.”

 

I give her a blank look. “Yeh came teh check on the Inquisitor... Someone who shouldn’ ever be me, but is an’ I’m sorree fer the dissapointment...”

 

I feel her gaze on me, but I avoid it and walk to the balcony overlooking the mountains away from the courtyard of soldiers and people looking to me for leadership. ME, of all fucking people!

 

“You cannot possi-“ I cut her off, not wanting to hear the lies.

 

“Stop trynah kid yerself, m’ Lady. Yeh know this is all some kindah sick joke by whutever powers control our lives... J-jus’ go... Et’s... Et’ll be easier this way... fer everyone.”

 

I feel her looking at me for a minute more and I am about to snap when I hear her walking away finally.

 

“Yeh can leave teh, Cole.” I sigh without turning around.

 

“Come on, Cole.” Josephine says and I know the spirit followed her out even though he is invisible again.

 

“There. That should keep ‘em away... Cullen an Leliana an’ ‘em got et. Don’ need meh.” I mumble, glancing down at how far up I am. “Oh man, I’m high up! No, no, nonono! Teh high, teh high!” I back away from the railing until I am almost to where my bed is.

 

(Hours later)

 

I still haven’t left my room, but I can feel how hungry I am. At this point I feel part of my brain questioning my self-imposed isolation. The part that somehow stays optimistic, gives the benefit of the doubt, and is overall just happy go lucky and social. The part that craves people and attention.

 

“Yeh know why we gottah do this, Shadow.” I growl at myself. “Once they see how much of ah mess yeh are, they’ll all go runnin’ back teh their damn homes an’ leave yeh behind again! They see the Inquisitor an’ all she should be... Thin’s I cannot even dream of bein’. If yeh let ‘em close ‘nough they’ll see the truth an’ run away. Like always...”

 

My mind is a mess no one should see or bare witness to. It is my burden to deal with this chaos that fills my brain, not theirs. The few who have seen it, well, they’re not with me right now are they? They are alive as far as I know, but it’s been a good several years since I really opened up to someone... It’s been many, many years since I’ve even known the ‘real’ me. Too many masks, faces, fronts... Even I do not know.

 

“It’s not their fault yeh can’ make up yer damn personality!” I snap at myself and tug at some of my hair in frustration. “Each day et seems like I am almost ah different person! I-I hate et! Why do I have teh be like this? Why!?”

 

I calm enough by pacing to sit back at my desk, idly twirling an ice piece around my fingers and tossing it back and forth between my hands. Something I often do when agitated or stressed.

 

“No one can love meh... not like this... Especially not like this...” I sigh. “Josie might unders-.” I stop myself. “No, don’ yeh fuckin’ go there! She trynah rebuild ‘er fam’ly name an’ all yeh’d do is hold ‘er back!!”

 

My ice piece melts into water then steam pretty much instantly, soon to be replaced by menacing arcs of my unique whiteish lightning and almost ghostly flame balls dancing in my palm. When I notice what I’ve done with my magic, I carefully force my mind to extinguish the flame before I burn something and I aim my lightning at the intruder I notice that moment. Leliana easily dodges as she saunters in from my balcony, my attack flying harmlessly off into the far distance over the mountains.

 

“Yeh need somethin’, Spymaster?” I question her and smooth down my clothes slightly. “Or come up ‘ere teh listen teh m’ rant?” I pause to look at where she came in. “How in the Maker’s ass did yeh even get up ‘ere?!”

 

“I have my ways.” She states simply and drops it.


	4. Changing Like the Wind (Part Two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if it came out okay this time, but here is the second part of the last chapter.

Changing Like the Wind (Part Two)

 

(Shadow)

 

“You can’t hide up here forever.” Leliana says and gives me an even look.

 

I avoid her eyes and glare at the floor as I sigh. “I... I’m aware of that... Is there anythin’ else obvious yeh need teh tell meh?”

 

“Everyone is worried.” She tells me and I hide my face from her view even more. “Josephine is the most worried.” I look at her carefully, more than a little scared before returning my gaze to the floor between us. “You two seemed to hit it off really well. Now you’re avoiding her and it hurt her. You remember what I said if you hurt her...”

 

“I-I jus’...” I try, but my mouth refuses to obey and my mind refuses to think up words. “I can’ let ‘er in... I-I can’ let anyone in...”

 

“And why not?” She asks and it is obviously a taunt, but her voice is all off.

 

I chance a look up and see how wrong I was. While there is still the hardass, you messed with the wrong bitch on top...there seems to be genuine concern underneath. Is it real? I can’t tell. I can never tell!

 

“Yeh don’ wannah know.” Before she can say anything I continue. “I-I... I don’ even know m’self, Leliana...”

 

“You do not know?”

 

I sigh, pulling my legs up to hide my face in my knees. Somehow managing to squeeze all on my chair without falling off. Her eyes bore into me, trying to find the answer, but there is still that gentleness underneath that makes me feel like I should tell her. It could still be a trap of some sort. Why would she trick me though? She’s been nothing but nice(-ish) to me since we met... Even when Cassandra would not consider trusting me at all, she was there on my side: suspicious and ever watchful, but there.

 

“I’m sure yeh’ve noticed h-how... how m’ personality seems teh be different almost everyday? Or that et rotates in ahn odd cycle of some s-sort?” She nods hesitantly, as if I will close off again and not finish my explanation. This reaction surprises me. “I really don’ know whut et is or why et happens, but et does. M-makes et real fuckin’ hard teh let people close.”

 

The books in the cases behind me and my desk begin to frost over and I do not care enough to fix it. My head is cold as my hair freezes almost solid along with my clothes, too. If the room’s sudden sharp drop in temperature bothers the other occupant, she does not make it easy to see.

 

“We don’ know whut causes it... When I was ah kid, m’ family had healers come look at meh. They... they thought et was brain damage or somethin’ of the like... Couldn’ find any though an’ so they gave up, tellin’ m’ parents that “she’ll jus’ always be emotionally confused an’ maybe mentally stunted. We’ll have teh wait an’ see”... Before they could really keep much of ahn eye on how I was developin’, m’ magic surfaced... then I had teh leave all that behind.” I trace patterns on the ice on my desk before catching a snowflake as it falls from the cloud appearing above my head. “People generally didn’ stay ‘round meh long when we were at the Circle. At first many tried teh cheer meh up... I was one of the younger ones there, so ah couple of the older ones would help meh out... ‘ventually m’ ‘issues’ came more obvious an’ pronounced an’ they all started leavin’ meh behind. Ah few would act as if we never met when I-I tried teh ask ‘em why.” I let out a rueful laugh. “Yeh know... Befer I figured out how teh control m’self more... in the Circle, I-I mean... there was talk of makin’ meh Tranquil, so I’d be “easier teh deal wit’ an’ less likely teh need ah beatin’ fer bein’ out of control”...” I glance up at her. “I’m sure yeh wondered why I’m pretty much c-covered in scars...... L-let’s jus’ say fer ah long time, I may have tried teh fight b-back... Only thin’ that kept ‘em from outright killin’ meh was m’ fam’ly. The Trevelyans were important enough that they w-wouldn’ dare kill their only heir... even if she is ah mage... Leavin’ ‘er scarred horribly was acceptable, I-I guess...”

 

My audience has been quiet, just listening and I still cannot tell if the chill is bothering her. For some reason I feel as though there is someone else here, but I brush it away as it most likely being Cole. He likes to visit, without alerting me at all to his presence. If his earlier visit that nearly scared me to death isn’t enough proof.

 

“I don’ wannah be left behind again. Never again! That’s why none yeh guys are allowed in. I-I jus’ can’ deal wit’ et once more.” I feel tears on my cheeks, so I wrap my arms around myself in a sort of hug and hang my head. “I want teh... I want teh trust, b-but I can’! M’ mind won’ let meh!”

 

Footsteps rush up to me and someone pulls me to them. Cracking my eyes momentarily, I am surrounded by gold. I’m way too upset to fully question when she got here or how long she has been listening, though the thoughts flit across my mind briefly. My tears fall for seemingly forever,but she holds me tighter to her and I can feel a small wetness on my own shoulder.

 

“You don’t have to go through this alone.” She tells me when I quiet, wrapping my arms around her.

 

“I-I... know...” I mumble and nuzzle further into her neck, enjoying being close to her. “I need...”

 

“Yes?” She pulls away to look in my eyes.

 

“....I-I...” I blush and avoid her gaze. “I found that... after, uhhh, g-gettin’ upset l-like that... Usually need ah n-nap...”

 

“Thats all?” I hear her giggle. “Of course you can take a nap.” She lets me up and helps me to my bed as exhaustion from that breakdown kicks in (and not eating all day, too, I’d guess).

 

I manage to wiggle underneath my blankets and curl up facing her and Leliana who I notice is still here. Josephine gives her friend a look and our Spymaster excuses herself, heading down the stairs to the main hall.

 

“St-stay?” I mumble and weakly tug on Josephine’s hand. “Josie?”

 

With a smile, she walks around to crawl in behind me. I immediately cling to her, not willing to let go.

”Relax, my love. I’m not going anywhere.” She assures as I drift off to sleep.


	5. Mother of Wolves (A Little Extra)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just something small I thought of as I reread the Mother of Wolves oneshot.

(Shadow)

 

The pups have grown quite a bit, but they sometimes seem to forget how big they have gotten. I’m playing with them in the courtyard, just roughhousing. Sera is here too, letting some of them chase her around as I wrestle with the runt, who we chose to name Jorge, and one of his sisters, Shara.

 

“Grrr!!” I fake growl at them and tackle the female down, but she keeps squirming. “Rawwrrr! I got yeh!”

 

Jorge charges into my side, effectively knocking me off his sister, and nips my ears. Something all of them like to do and I hate that they do that. Sera and Solas and some of the other elves in Skyhold hate it more though because their ears are bigger, the pups take it as easier targets when the elves play with them. Anyway, I drop the play act and pin him down fairly easily, getting in his face.

 

“No nipping!” I growl, actually angry this time and he appears to get it, looking up at me almost fearfully.

 

With a sigh, I release him and he stays still, not completely sure if I am still mad or not before getting up quickly and bolting away to where three of his more mellow siblings are sitting in the shade with Josephine. Shara walks over as well and plops herself down against my girlfriend’s side.

 

“You got a lot of strength there, Ice.” Varric says as he offers me a hand.

 

“Oh, uh... y-yeah, I’m sure yeh’ve seen meh sparring wit’ Cassandra...”

 

“Why do you bother learning the sword when you have your magic?”

 

I glance at him with a shy smile and a small blush. “...Knowledge is always ah good thin’ teh have... There might be situations I won’ be _allowed_ or _able_ teh use m’ magic... L-like the duel fer example...”

 

He looks at me, contemplating his next words. “Why learn the bow and the greatsword then? Wouldn’t just the sword be good enough?”

 

 

“...I-I always wanted teh learn teh use normal weapons... found et fascinatin’... We only ever were taught how teh defend ourselves wit’ our magic...”

 

The dwarf hums to himself and pats me on the arm before walking away, leaving me to continue my path to the shady spot all the pups seem to be crowding.

 

“My love, you are covered in mud and dirt!” Josephine exclaims as I get closer and I check myself to find she is right.

 

“Well, crud.” I simply say with a chuckle and push Shara over so I can sit next to my girlfriend. The pup grumbles, but lets me move her. “Wannah hug?” I cock my head slightly with a grin and outspread arms.

 

“No! You need to go get cleaned first!”

 

I laugh as that was exactly what I expected her to say. Giving her a brief kiss, I stand up again and make my way inside.

 

 

(Later, still Shadow)

 

“How do you fit all 10 of you up there?” Sera asks and I turn to her from my seat next to her at the dinner table. “You, Josie, and all the growing pups, I mean!”

 

I glance over at the pups chowing down on venison. They are at the point where they can no longer share a bowl without fighting over it. Each has their own bowl now lined up along the wall and they share a huge tub of water to drink from by the door. They _have_ gotten pretty big. According to books and what I’ve seen in the wild, they are fairly close to full grown.

 

“Et’s... ah bit tight...” I mumble, turning back to my best friend. “They don’ sleep in the bed wit’ us, but there _is_ only limited room up there...”

 

“Do they try to watch while you two are in the middle of it? They’re like your children and all that, right?... Doesn’t it make it awkward? A real mood killer?” She asks next with a teasing grin and it takes me a moment to process as I take a bite of my chicken leg, nearly choking when I realize what she means.

 

“Why the fuck would yeh ask meh that when we’re eatin’!?” I demand after I stop coughing and take a sip of my iced tea, something Vivienne and Josephine find a little weird that I like.

 

My girlfriend, who has been listening to us from my other side nudges my arm, trying to get me to not yell. Looking over, though, I see she has a blush that probably rivals my own.

 

“...Sometimes...” I grumble a response to the elf’s questions and stare at my food, unsure if I am still hungry or not. “I-I think I’m done...”

 

I take my plate and hand it over to a waiting servant before walking to my tower.


	6. Hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it is short...

(Shadow)

 

“‘Ey, uh, gmornin...” I mumble as I open my eyes to see my girlfriend is awake and reading a book next to me in bed.

 

“Good morning, Shadow.” Josephine says as she looks over at me, carefully grabbing a piece of my messy bedhead that is getting pretty long. “Your hair is curly.” She observes the obvious silvery curl that is twirled around her finger now. “How have I _not_ noticed this?”

 

“Yup, et’s curly... I-I don’ really like et cuz everyone just wants teh touch et an’ spring one of the curls... So I keep et short.” I tell her and she pulls her hand away quickly, almost getting caught in my tangled hair. “N-no, et’s okay if _yeh_ touch et, I-I don’ like random people gettin’ up in m’ personal space, yeh know. I trust yeh, Josie...”

 

“You want to get this trimmed? I’m sure someone here can do that for you.”

 

“Prob’bly... I don’ mind the style I been forced teh do since et’s longer, but I-I did like et when et was like Krem’s more...” I tell her and pluck the book out of her hands, making a show of marking the page before fully closing it so she doesn’t get mad. “Whut do yeh think I should do?”

 

“I think you should get it cut.” She says and kisses me.

 

(Later)

 

“Krem! There yeh are!” I stop my friend before he walks out of the tavern. “I got ah question fer yeh.”

 

He looks at me, waiting for me to continue, watching me mess with a curl that hangs in front of my face.

 

“You want to know who cuts my hair?” The warrior asks, amusement clear in his voice.

 

“U-ummm, yeah!” I startle at him guessing correctly. “H-how’d you know?”

 

“I’ve noticed your hair is getting long... and you were playing with it just now.” Krem laughs at my shock then adds. “Also, your _ambassador_ asked me earlier, in case you couldn’t find me or were busy.” I catch his smirk when he mentions my girlfriend.

 

“Oh.” I say simply and shift uneasily, blushing a bit now. “Soooo....”

 

“Bull cuts my hair.”

 

I stare at him blankly, unsure of what I just heard. “Whu...?”

 

“I know you heard me.” He laughs at me as I am in shock again.

 

(Even Later)

 

A couple hours later and I am relishing the feel of the winds off the mountains on my ears and ruffling my short hair as I stand on my balcony. I am so lost in the feeling that I don’t hear someone walk up behind me until arms wrap around my waist and a hand is feeling my hair causing me to jump before I realize who it is.

 

“Andraste’s tits, Josie!” I tell her and calm myself as I regain control of my magic which I had almost used to send her flying. “Don’ sneak up on meh like that!”

 

”You got it cut, I see.” She says and I turn in her arms to face her. “Bull did it?”

 

I hum in the affirmative and pull her closer to me. “How was yer day, babe?”

 

Even though most of it confuses the hell out of me, I try to follow along with her detailing her hectic day as best I can. Eventually, she realizes I am having trouble keeping up and suggests we take the pups for a walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly didn’t know how to wrap it up well, so... yeah, thats the end of this oneshot...


	7. Unexpected Surprises - One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, since this will probably end up being a small story, broken by oneshots every once in a while, I will put like I did with this ones title, but change the number after it when I post a new ‘chapter’. There we go. Hope you enjoy the beginning of Unexpected Surprises.
> 
> (OR it may just be oneshots that go together, I don’t know at this point)

Unexpected Surprises

 

(Shadow)

 

I’m sitting on a bench in the garden, reading, when something starts tugging on my pant leg.

 

“U-uhhh...” I forget words as I shift my book up so I can look down at the thing now occupying the space next to my leg. “...Where’d yeh come from, huh?” The young child stares up at me innocently with pale green eyes that almost remind me of my own. “Nevermind...”

 

Setting my book completely aside, I pick up the child to look them over. Deciding its a little girl, no way she is any older than a year at most, I stand up, holding her close and look around.

 

“We should find yer fam’ly...” I tell her and she just holds onto my shirt, burying her face into my collar.

 

I ask anyone I pass if they had seen the parent or a family member of the girl in my arms, but no one has any information. Several people gasp when they see me carrying the girl, probably coming to some outlandish conclusion about how she came to be carried by me. More then likely something along the lines of the girl is my daughter... which couldn’t be any farther from impossible.

 

“Josie, ummm...” I say as I enter my girlfriend’s office after searching for hours, only taking a couple breaks to care for the infant’s needs. “We have ah situation...”

 

Her usual smile at me drops to a confused frown as she sees the little pale girl in my arms when I walk closer.

 

“Why do you have a baby?” She asks and stands to walk around her desk to me.

 

“Sh-she jus’ tugged on m’ pants wh-when I was readin’ in the garden!” I struggle to explain and distract the dark brunette haired girl who seems very intent on getting Josephine’s attention by reaching to her and leaning way out of my hold. “I-I asked anybody who was ‘round if they knew where she came f-from!”

 

“And no one knew?”

 

I nod frantically. “Et’s been most of the day an’ still no one has anythin’ teh lead meh teh ‘er fam’ly!” The girl starts getting a bit upset that I won’t let her lean out, so I bounce her carefully while holding the conversation. “Eh, no, no, no... please not again, girly... et’s okay... shh...” I rub her back soothingly as my girlfriend watches. “There, all good?”

 

Some weak sniffles are my answer, but I take her rubbing her face on my shirt as a good sign and turn back to Josephine.

 

“Whut are we gonnah do?” I ask her, worriedly.

 

The timing of the soldier bursting into the office couldn’t be better if it was in some sort of story or play.

 

“Ambassa-!” He abruptly stops whatever he was going to announce when he spots me and the girl. “Oh! I didn’t mean to intrude on family time, Inquisitor!”

 

Words fail me as I stare wide-eyed in shock at the young man, my cheeks darkening greatly. My relationship with Josie is not a secret, not by a longshot, but...

 

“Ahem, what were you going to tell me?” My girlfriend manages to ask him, but I can see her intense blush that I’m sure mine matches.

 

“Are you sure? I-I don’t want to intrude any more into your time with your family...” Now he gets awkward and half of what he said was mumbling, glancing at me and the girl I still hold.

 

“Tell me.” Josephine is more forceful and it snaps me out of my shock as I return to distracting the girl with some easy and harmless little tricks with my magic while still listening.

 

“These papers were found on one of the benches near the statue of Andraste. Here.” He hands off a stack to my girlfriend and he salutes to me before heading out of the room, stopping at the door briefly. “Congratulations, Inquisitor, Ambassador...”

 

I can’t question him on what he means as he manages to slip out the door quickly.

 

“Shadow. You need to see these.”

 

I turn at the sound of my name.

 

“Whut is et?” I ask as I move closer, rocking a now sleepy girl in my arms. “Whut’s wrong? Yeh look ashen suddenly.” For once unable to find the right words, she just points to the papers. “...A-are these...?”

 

“...Adoption papers?” She finishes for me. “Yes, they are. For the child y-you found.” I look at her then look at the papers more.

 

“I-i-i-is that our names there?!” My outburst startles the baby and I hush her again. “Josie, whut’re we gonnah d-do?”

 

“I don’t know.” She mumbles, staring at our names on the papers.

 

“H-how can yeh _not_ know? Yeh always g-got ah plan!” I whisper somewhat loudly as the young child is nodding off once more. “H-how’d they forge our signatures?” I stop to think for a moment. “No, wait, we have many documents g-goin’ out... e-easily couldah copied one of those...”

 

“Mhmm...” Is all I get in response.

 

“L-let’s go teh the tower...” I suggest and grab my girlfriend’s hand. “C’mon.”


	8. Unexpected Surprises - Two

Unexpected Surprises - Two

 

(Shadow)

 

The girl is fast asleep in my arms by the time we make it up the stairs to our room while Josephine is in shock or maybe she is thinking on how we should deal with this.

 

“C’mon, let’s go to bed, Josie.” I guide my girlfriend over to the bed and she sits down as I somehow manage to get our nightclothes out while holding the girl.

 

“Would yeh mind makin’ sure she doesn’ fall?” I ask, setting the sleeping infant on the bed next to her, so I can change into my loose sleep shirt and pants.

 

As if drawn by a magnet or something, the child shifts closer to Josephine’s side until she gives in and picks her up.

 

“At least someone’s peaceful right now...” I mumble, taking the girl into my arms once more and letting my lover get changed. The girl gets fussy about being moved so much, but is easily lulled back to sleep.

 

“How do you know how to calm her?” I am asked as I lay with my head propped up on several of my excess pillows and the child curled up on my chest, deep asleep.

 

“I-Instinct, I guess...? I dunno.” I mumble and kiss the top of the girl’s head, realizing something. “Did yeh see ah name fer ‘er on those papers?”

 

“No, why?”

 

“I jus’ think we’re gonnah need somethin’ teh call ‘er besides ‘the girl’, yeh know.”

 

We watch the child for a moment before a thought pops into my head. “Whut ‘bout Luna?”

 

Josephine doesn’t get a chance to say if she thinks the name is good or not before the door to our tower opens and the wolves rush up. I carefully cover the girl’s ear that isn’t against my breasts to try and minimize the chance she’ll wake up from all the ruckus. The first pups that reach the top of the stairs pause when they pick up the baby’s scent and they grumble at their siblings before all 8 of them quiet down and approach the bed cautiously to look at the tiny human.

 

“‘Ey guys...” I say to them and pat the ones I can reach on the head. “Thank yeh fer bein’ quiet...”

 

Eventually their tiring day of helping around Skyhold with anything from guard duty to helping the workers to just playing around with the kids and being there to make people smile catches up with them and they head to the massive cushion a noble commissioned a tailor make as a ‘gift for the Inquisitor’s wonderful pets’ (Josie says it was just him trying to make himself look good).

 

“I-I’m tired...” I say and feel my eyelids drooping, so I turn my head to look at my girlfriend just in time to see her yawning. “...an’ I see yeh are teh...”

 

Instead of trying to protest like I thought she might, she just moves closer to me and snuggles up, bringing the blanket with her and draping it over me and the baby. Her warmth against my side as well as the girl’s warmth and weight on my chest are the last things I think of before I fall asleep.

 

(The next morning, Josephine)

 

I wake up before Shadow and just look at her holding the infant. Luna, Shadow had suggested we call her. I notice a pair of eyes very eerily similar to a pair I know and love sleepily watching me. The girl has started to wake up and I know Shadow will feel her if she moves too much, so I take her into my arms.

 

“Mama?” Luna, yes I believe I like that name, mumbles and it startles me. Shadow said she was almost silent (excluding her crying and fussing) all yesterday. Now it seems she can speak a little. “Mama.”

 

“Hello there.” I say awkwardly, mentally slapping myself for sounding so unsure like Shadow ends up most times.

 

“...Mmmm, so she can say some words...” My love mumbles as she rolls onto her side to face us.

 

“Mama.” The girl happily says and giggles ,reaching out for my love.

 

“I think that’s what Luna is going to call both of us.” I tell my love as I set the girl between us.

 

“Wait, yeh said Luna...”

 

“Yes, you were right when you said we need something to call her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really wasn’t sure how to wrap it up...


	9. Unexpected Surprises - Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put a reference to something Josephine says ingame. Let’s see who can figure it out! No cheating by just looking at the end notes!

Unexpected Surprises - Three

 

(Shadow)

 

News travels fast, way too fast for my liking. Within a month of us finding out that we had “adopted” Luna, we receive letters from our families saying how proud they are of us for becoming parents, despite the dangerous timing, and asking when our wedding will be. We would get letters and news from them periodically, but this... It seems every member of the families seem to have sent us their own letters...

 

“Oh, look... One from cousin Duncan...” I mumble, sorting through the letters piled on my desk. “He was nice, kindah miss ‘im ah bit...” I pick up another one. “‘ey, one from great-aunt Lucille... An’ the last one today is from...” I unroll it a little, surprised when I see the sender’s name. “...Quen... From the Circle... I-I thought she hated meh...”

 

Shaking my head, I set them in the piles that we set up to designate who we would need to respond to fastest. Mainly our parents and other immediate family members, the others can wait a bit longer for our response.

 

“Yeh’ve gone an’ caused quite ah stir in the Montilyets an’ the Trevelyans.” I say with a snort of a laugh to Luna who has been sitting in my lap. “All without even tryin’ or knowin’...”

 

She is utterly fascinated by all the papers and things on the desk that I move about while working, but the moment she realizes I am speaking to her, she stares up at me in wonder, head leaning back against my chest.

 

“Mama.” She giggles and pats at my arm with tiny hands.

 

Every time I hear her call me that, part of me is elated! But, the other part... the part of me that realizes Luna could never be mine and Josie’s daughter, is greatly saddened.

 

We need to find her _real_ parents. Or at least figure out what happened to them.

 

But for now, Luna is Luna Montilyet-Trevelyan, considering my girlfriend and I are not married. Also, as both of us are the heirs to our respective houses, we wouldn’t choose a name to go with, but keep our own, I guess. I should ask how that would work out... Not going to ask Josie though, she’s got enough on her plate to be thinking of us being married.

 

“Let’s go fer ah walk, Luna.” I mumble, standing up and taking the girl with me. “Maybe Sera or Cole can come join us... Or maybe we can go watch Cassandra hit ‘er trainin’ dummies... Oooo! We could listen teh one ah Varric’s stories!”

 

Luna gets excited uponv hearing the dwarf’s name.

 

If there are three other people besides me and Josephine that Luna has instantly seemed to bond with, it would be Varric, Krem, and Hawke. I mean, the girl is very clearly going to be a people person when she is older (very unlike me), but with those three... I cannot describe well enough how quickly she clung to them after their initial meeting. It was almost faster then her clinging to me and my girlfriend!

 

Varric’s really good at keeping his stories clean and blood free for her (though I doubt the child even understands any of it) while she loves it when Krem plays warrior with her. Hawke and I enjoy making little magic shows for her (We assured Josie that it is harmless. Mainly just tiny illusions and making small sculptures for her out of ice).

 

Anyway, if they end up being busy, I guess we could just go look at the flowers and plants in the gardens. Luna loves going there.

 

(Josephine)

 

I am negotiating with a dignitary when I hear what I can tell is Shadow talking to Luna as they walk past my door. Luna is babbling back and making no sense, but she sounds so happy that I smile without meaning to.

 

“Would that be the Inquisitor and your daughter?” The dignitary, an old man from Fereldan named Lord Philip Ramsey, asks and he moves as if to stand.

 

“It would sound like them.” I acknowledge and glance at the door before looking back at him. “Now, where were we?”

 

“I’d like to meet them, if you do not mind.” He says as he finally manages to stand up. “Then we can get right back into our talks.”

 

“Very well.”

 

It takes us a moment to catch up with the duo with their head start. We find them in the gardens looking at the plants.

 

“Inquisitor.” I get my love’s attention.

 

“Yes, Jos- er, Ambassador?” Shadow catches herself when she notices the dignitary and that I called her by her title. “Do yeh need somethin’?”

 

The Lord steps closer to Shadow and I can tell she is confused on what to do, so I subtly motion for her to greet him.

 

We have all sorts of little signs to help her figure these things out. Being a mage never really afforded her more than basic training in social etiquette and since we don’t exactly have the pleasure of time to completely teach her everything and practice much in the Inquisition, we came up with these signals for her to watch for.

 

“H-hello, I don’ believe we’ve met.” She stutters slightly, but manages as Luna is still focused on a flower. “I’d offer yeh ah handshake if I could, sir. I’m Inquisitor Shadow Trevelyan.”

 

“Lord Ramsey.” The man says back with a smile and looks to Luna who has just noticed his presence, watching him curiously. “And this must be your and Lady Montilyet’s daughter.”

 

Shadow struggles and I use the sign for her to keep it up, that she is doing great.

 

“Ah, yes, this i-is Luna, Luna Montilyet-Trevelyan.” I smile at how well she is doing.

 

“I had heard the rumors about her, but I wanted to meet the girl myself.” Ramsey says and does a small wave to Luna and gets one in return from the child. “The ones that say she was given to you two by Andraste and is part of both of you was hard to believe or think possible.” He continues. “But seeing how much she looks like both of you... I do not know. You are truly blessed by the Maker and Andraste, Inquisitor. From your survival against all odds twice... to your gift of a daughter...” He chuckles with a headshake and turns back to me. “I believe we had negotiations to finish, Ambassador.”

 

It takes me a second to gather myself from the shock and walk with him back to my office.

 

(Shadow)

 

Luna turns to look back at me the moment they are out of sight.

 

“Mama?”

 

I shift her on my hip and blink. “Huh, o-oh, sorree, sweetie. Yeh o-?”

 

A stomach grumbling loudly cuts me off and I know it is hers, though mine has been nagging me to go eat for the past hour or so. She giggles when I tickle her and start heading to the kitchens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was thinking of a name for the lord, I remembered Josephine’s line where she talks about all the people rumors had paired the Inquisitor with... “...and some man named Philip.” So, I had to. Did anyone pick up on it?
> 
> Also, old man may be onto something... XP Or he’s just crazy.


	10. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this oneshot is really where the “Referenced Abuse” comes into play.
> 
> Also, my phone is being a butt. I have some small formatting changes I want to make, but I can’t right now. I’ll fix them when I can.
> 
> NOTE: THE PARENTHESIS THAT DONT INDICATE A POV OR LOCATION CHANGE ARE SHADOW’S MIND!

Fear

 

(Shadow)

 

It’s been a couple weeks since I woke up in Haven after sealing the rift in the temple.

 

“Trevelyan.” I hear the voice of the man who has terrified me this whole time, based soley on his previous profession.

I turn slightly to look at him and hope I am hiding my fear well. “C-Commander?”

 

Glancing at Cassandra, who I had been talking with, I see I am not doing well enough to hide my discomfort, if her brief worried expression is one to go by.

 

“I was wondering if you would want to talk.” Cullen says. “Outside of Inquisition work. I wanted to just talk.”

 

“U-uhh...” I mumble, shocked. “Sure?” I shake my head realizing it came out like a question. “O-okay.”

 

(The tavern)

 

“I’ve noticed you avoid me.” He states bluntly and I unconsciously shift in my seat, making sure I have a clear shot to either exit. “There, you are doing it. Looking ready to flee at a moments notice.”

 

I barely notice the other 3 in our leadership group entering the inn and sitting at a table on the other side of the room. I do, however, take note that they glance over here periodically.

 

“I-I don’ mean teh, sir.” I force out and bow my head a little. “J-jus’ lingerin’ fear, I-I guess...”

 

“Of me?” I shake my head though I am sure he already knows what I meant. “The templars?” Now I nod carefully and force my gaze up to stare at a point on the wall over his shoulder like I do most times I talk to a templar.

 

“Yessir.” I hide the emotion and set my face in a stony straight face that could be similar to a Tranquil’s. “I’m sorree, sir. I-I don’ mean teh.”

 

He must see my change in behavior because he sends a concerned glance over to the others while I stare into my drink, swishing it around in my mug.

 

My brain decides to start taunting me. (Liquid, liquid...if it was red...)

 

I shakily feel at the scars on my face and stare blankly at the ones on my hands and arms. (Weaklin’, weaklin’. Couldn’ stop ‘em from hurtin’ yeh becauz yeh are whut yeh are.)

 

Of course the fucking voice sounds like me... I’m always terrified of how evil I can sound in my mind.

 

A warm hand on my arm nearly snaps me out of it as I flinch, but my brain refuses to release me.

 

(Oooo, don’ look now, they’re tryin’ teh help yeh, weaklin’. Don’ deserve et, don’ deserve et.)

 

Hands grab my face and force me to look at their owner. I make out tan skin and a worried expression on a beautiful face.

 

“-dow!” Someone is shouting, probably the one holding me as I see blurry faces watching over the person’s shoulder before being sucked back into my mind once more.

 

(Worthless, worthless! Couldn’ stop ‘em from takin’ yer dear apprentice, yer dear friend Bella, teh be made Tranquil. She did nothin’ wrong, but be yer apprentice! Failure, failure!)

 

I jerk away from the person holding my face and back myself into a corner, curling into a ball, not using my magic to defend myself. That’d be a surefire way to increase the pain that will come.

 

“N-no more hurtin’...” I mumble out and feel someone trying to touch me again, so I finally pull on my magic and erect an ice wall between me and everyone watching, almost cocooning me in the corner.

 

I tune out the new voice ushering everyone out.

 

(Herald, Herald! That’s the shiny title they’ve pinned on yeh? Sounds important! Hmm, I’m sure yeh’ll find ah way teh screw this up! Yeh always do.)

 

Things are crashing against the outer part of the ice-wall-cocoon, but I just strengthen it ever slightly more.

 

(Whut this? Thebaby isn’ gonnah rush teh the safety of numbers? Like yeh did when they took yer roommate, Frida? The poor girl was only 13! Yeh had taught ‘er teh be rebellious in the face of the templars, but when she needed yeh most... whut’d yeh do? Ran. Little bitch, little bitch!)

 

I curl tighter in on myself.

 

(She’s dead, she’s dead! Only reason they didn’ kill yeh, teh, is yer fam’ly! Yeh’d be so very dead if not for ‘em an’ their influence!)

 

There is the cracking of my ice wall, but this time I don’t bother reinforcing it again.

 

(Leave yeh, leave yeh. Yeh know they will. Don’ let ‘em in! Idiot, idiot!)

 

“Shadow!” The person saying my name before yells as someone else tugs on my body, trying to get a grip to pick me up.

 

Eventually, they succeed. I remain rigid in their grip as I am held against the cold of an armor chest piece and I can make out short, dark hair and a couple scars on her face.

 

(‘ere et comes, ‘ere et comes! Look whut yeh did! Yeh brought this on yerself!)

 

They carry me to a cabin and I am set down. Suddenly, I am drenched in water and I sit there stuttering, in shock from being so quickly disconnected from my thoughts. I begin to take account of my surroundings and the person who laid a blanket over my shoulders to try and dry me off. Josephine, glaring at... Leliana who looks a tad worried under her resting bitch face neutral expression, holding a bucket... that must have held the water splashed on me. Next to her... Cassandra, who must have carried me... Sera pushes past from where she must have been behind them and kneels next to me with Josephine.

 

“She gonna be alright, yeah?” The elf asks the woman next to her as I still am piecing things together.

 

(Sera)

 

Shadow stares around the room at everyone, her eyes clearer then when she freaked out in the tavern.

 

I guess the Herald really is just like any other person, not blessed or anything. Just a normal woman like she claims to be. She gets scared, too. Of what though? She was talking to... ohhhh...

 

 

(Josephine)

 

“Shadow? Can you hear me?” I ask the still stunned mage and get a weak nod to which I sigh in relief.

 

“...I...” She tries to speak. “I... am s-sorree...”

 

“Don’t be.” Cassandra answer before I can. “Everyone gets scared of things.”

 

“You have a past more troubled then any of us can claim about our own.” Leliana says evenly and I frown.

 

What could have made Shadow this way? What has Leliana found?

 

“...Still sorree...” The mage buries her face out of sight in the blanket, almost ashamed. “I-I... made more work f-fer yeh guys...”

 

“Shut up.” Sera stops her and we all stare at the rogue. “You have every right to have your scared moments! Everyone does!”

 

“B-but...” Shadow tries again, only to be cut off once more by her elvish friend.

 

“I said shut up!”

 

“O-ok, sorree...”

 

“You apologize too much, you know that?” Sera says with a finality that seems to mean she is done hearing Shadow apologize and stands. “Now, you rest, yeah? Rest and feel better. Then you can go back out there and beat the shite out of things.” Then she leaves.

 

That is certainly one way to motivate someone... A weak chuckling draws my attention from her back to Shadow who is smiling a tiny bit. Relief fills me and I rush to help her up when she moves to stand.

 

“...C-can I get changed?” She asks, avoiding looking at any of us as she gets her nightclothes out.

 

“We’re all women he-“ Cassandra starts, but is stopped when she sees Shadow rubbing at the scars on her arms. “We’ll be outside.”

 

I turn to follow them, but my wrist is grabbed.

 

“C-c-can yeh come back in after...?” Her eyes tell of a woman too terrified of herself to trust herself alone with her thoughts at this time.

 

“Of course. Just call out when you are done.” I tell her and join the others outside.

 

Cullen is just outside the door.

 

“What did you think was going to happen, calling her out like that?!” Cassandra hisses at him. “Leliana shared with you her findings! You know what she’s been through at the hands of your colleagues!”

 

“Am I the only one who hasn’t seen these findings?” I ask and Leliana turns to me.

 

“I was going to give them to you after Cullen tried speaking with her.” She grabs a stack of papers and two scrolls from one of her spies that I had not noticed standing there, and gives them to me. “Here.”

 

“J-Josephine?” Shadow’s voice barely gets through the door and Leliana looks at me curiously.

 

“She doesn’t want to be alone with her thoughts.” I tell them. “...After what just happened, I do not think she should be alone for a while.” I look at Cassandra. “There are a few papers on my desk and my board with my ink. Could you bring me them? I don’t know how long she will be awake.”

 

They nod and head towards their respective destinations. Cullen, to help sort out the remnants of the situation at the tavern and to assure the patrons that the Herald is fine.

 

“‘ey...” Shadow mumbles as I pull over the chair in the cabin.

 

“Hello.” I smile at her. “Are... are you feeling better?”

 

“I think? I don’ know...”

 

We talk for a while before she falls asleep. Leaving me to the reports Leliana gave me, setting my work aside for this. The reports and testimonies from a couple former Ostwick Circle mages confirms what I feared. Shadow has every right to be this terrified of the templars. Every right. The content of these reports almost make me want to throw them in a fire and torch them, but I think better of it.

 

Now the big question... how are we going to get Cullen and her to be okay near each other? I believe getting her used to him may help her start to desensitize...

 

I sigh and reach out to squeeze her hand. Daring to go a little further, I rest my other hand against her face, thumb tracing part of one of her bigger scars, one that runs along her cheek and goes up into the shaved hair on the side of her head. She rolls over to face me with a small smile and I feel a smile pulling at my lips in response.


	11. Unexpected Surprises - Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sleepy writing...

Unexpected Surprises - Four

 

(Shadow)

 

There is still not word on Luna’s parents. They couldn’t have gone very far without anyone noticing them or Luna before she was left. It’s as if they don’t exist.

 

“Leliana still has not come across anything...” I mumble to my girlfriend as we look at the girl sleeping between us in the bed.

 

“She has not.” Is the response without glancing up at me. “I am not sure what more we can do.”

 

“I don’ know either...” I reach for her hand which she lets me take, entwining our fingers. “W-we can’ jus’ take ‘er teh an orphanage... Those are already overflowin’.”

 

“And it would look bad on us.” She agrees, sighing. “Especially with how important we are... As well as the fact your family has already planned a trip to come visit and meet her.”

 

I groan at this.

 

“I’m surprised ‘Aunt’ Yvette hasn’ decided teh pay us ah visit.” I joke (referring to how Josie’s sister calls herself in the letters to us about Luna), trying to cover my own nervousness, but I know my lover can see right through it.

 

I never exactly went to see my parents after I fled the ruins of the Ostwick Circle. It would have been too obvious, too dangerous for me and them. I would pay couriers double to keep silent of my whereabouts when I did send them letters while I was on the run.

 

This will be my first time seeing them since that time they came to see me in the Circle almost 4 years ago now, to inform me that my younger brother, Wolf (who had inherited the title of heir from me when it was discovered that I am a mage), had died in an accident while on a hunting trip. Because the Trevelyan family has always traditionally been kept small, without many outstanding branches and currently no cousins (Duncan doesn’t care to be head of the family and his parents are no longer living) or aunts or uncles to dispute my father doing so, I was once again left to be the heir. I’m not sure how they planned (and still plan) for it to work out, but whatever.

 

“I know you have not seen your family since before you fled the Circle...” Josephine says calmly.

 

“I’ll be fine.” I stop her. “...P’ease... I’d rather not think ‘bout ‘em at this moment.” I squeeze her hand. “N-not when I am laying ‘ere wit’ yeh...” A quick glance down between us as Luna shifts in her sleep with some random sleepy babbling and I snort a small laugh. “An’ this little attention hog, teh, I guess.”

 

I see the smile on my girlfriend and pull on her hand, trying to get her to scoot close enough that I can put an arm around her. She obliges with a chuckle, being careful not to squish or disturb Luna.

 

(A couple days later)

 

My family arrives sooner than expected, surprising me as I spar in the courtyard with Cassandra, Luna being with my girlfriend this morning.

 

“Inquisitor!” I vaguely hear someone yelling, but I brush it off and go for what would be the ‘kill’ with my spirit blade.

 

My friend makes an annoyed noise and backs away from my glowing magic sword that is already starting to dissipate to pick up her own sword I had managed to get her to drop with some well aimed lightning.

 

“Inquisitor!” The person who tried to get my attention before tries again and this time I acknowledge them, turning to face an elven scout. One from Harding’s scouting group, if I recall correctly (though I don’t believe I ever caught his name...).

 

“Yes?” I ask and lean somewhat heavily on my staff as exhaustion threatens to take over. “Wh-whut can I do fer yeh?”

 

“You family is approaching the bridge, Your Worship.” He delivers, standing proud and I freeze up.

 

“N-no...” I mumble as I see the first horses passing under the main entrance. “They’re early...”

 

I catch green eyes as they find me quickly.

 

“Shadow!” My father’s voice booms over the din of Skyhold.

 

He dismounts and lets a stablehand take his horse as he elects to rush over to me.

 

“Father.” I say respectfully and struggle to not appear to be leaning on my staff too much.

 

“I’ll let our Ambassador know they have arrived.” Cassandra tells me as she passes, heading towards the stairs.

 

“You were sparring just now weren’t you?” My father, Bann Bear Trevelyan, grins as he eyes my muddy and tired state and that of my Seeker friend. “You win?”

 

I huff indignantly, “O-of course I won.” Then I sigh. “Not sure if she let meh though...”

 

“Take the win with some pride, pup.” He says using a term he hasn’t been able to use for me since I have not talked to him face to face in what feels like ages.

 

It feels odd hearing him say that after all this time. I’m not some little child, so unlucky my magic decided to make itself known in front of some very discriminatory company who visited our home when I was young who immediately called for templars to take me away. I’m not the nearly broken mage in the Circle that he saw when he would visit rarely.

 

I have to suppress a smile that threatens to surface when I think of how protective he got of me each time he saw my scars and the new, fresh ones that would appear. He almost fought a templar unlucky enough to have walked in at the wrong moment. Had to stop him from hurting poor Clement... He was a good kid, nice... for a templar. Used to make sure I was okay and check on me occasionally. I wonder if he survived all of this... the fall of our Circle, the Conclave (pretty sure he was too low rank to go...), the fighting, Corypheus turning the templars evil...

 

“H-how ‘bout we take this inside?” I ask, realizing I had been too quiet and shifting upright more, gesturing to the stairs. “I believe Jose-, er, Lady Montilyet should be in her office with Luna still.”

 

He nods, grey streaked dark brown hair lightly shifting with the movement before resettling. My own odd hair color was an anomaly. One passed from a few long deceased relatives deep on mother’s side of the family I was told.

 

Speaking of my mother, I see her finally walking over from speaking with two of the assistants they brought with them. Likely instructing them what to do with the luggage and the horses.

 

“Mother.” I bow my head slightly and she laughs. “S-sorree...”

 

“Shadow was just about to lead us to her fiancé’s office.” My dad tells her with a glimmer of amusement in his eyes.

 

“She’s not m’ fiancé...” I mumble, feeling my cheeks heat up. “U-uh, this way!”

 

(Josephine)

 

Cassandra walks through my door and it surprises me.

 

“They’re here.” She simply says and watches for my reaction.

 

“They are early.” I say, stunned and force myself to look at her again. “Thank you for telling me. Where is Shadow? I thought you two were sparring.”

 

“They saw her before I could distract them.”

 

“I see.”

 

The warrior turns and exits the room without another word, leaving me and Luna alone once more.

 

“Mama, wong?” The girl asks and I look at her.

 

Shadow has taken it upon herself to start teaching her more words. “The healers believe she is almost 1...” She had said as reasoning.

 

“Nothing is wrong, my little Luna.” I tell her and straighten her hair a little, despite the girl squirming in my lap.

 

“...’ere we are.” I hear Shadow awkwardly tell who I can assume is her parents as she walks in and waits for everyone to enter while I stand with Luna in my arms. “Lady Montilyet, may I present m-m’ parents: Bear and Kimberly Trevelyan...”

 

(Shadow)

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” My mom says and hold out a hand that my girlfriend takes gently before my mother moves back and turns to me. “Is that Luna?”

 

“Yes.” I answer as my father has already stepped up in front of my mother to greet Josie. “That is Luna.”

 

“She does look a lot like you both...” My mother trails off with a smirk. “You didn’t do any magic or anything, did you?”

 

I sputter, struggling to respond, and see my father and girlfriend glance at me momentarily.

 

“Please, just Josephine.” She is telling him when I tune back in.

 

“Mama!” Luna suddenly yells, having saw me when I entered and been squirming in my lover’s arms to get to me. “Mama!”

 

Josie sighs and hands the girl to me when I get close enough.

 

“She always wants you.” The Antivan sounds as if she is upset, but the fond smile she shows me says otherwise and I return it with one of my own.

 

My father coughs a little to get our attention and we jump. To which he and my mother laugh.


	12. Shadow’s Apologies

Shadow’s Apologies

 

(Shadow)

 

I am writing a letter to my friend.. is he still my friend? I really hope so. Anyway, I need to apologize to him. When Bull invited me to meet the Chargers, I learned my suspicion about Krem was correct.

 

However, in my somewhat drunken state, I may have gotten a bit carried away asking him questions. Now, I am worried I have overstepped and made him hate me.

 

There is the shifting of sheets from my bed and I freeze up, listening and hoping Josephine doesn’t wake up. It sounds like she just moved in her sleep, but better safe then sorry.

 

 

“...I-if I wasn’ so damn awkward speakin’, I could jus’ go an’ say sorree teh ‘im...” I mutter when I am sure it is safe again, before looking back down at the paper and my fairly messy writing, reading what I have already wrote. “‘Krem. I hope this manages teh get teh yeh an’ I didn’ jus’ crumple et up an’ throw et somewhere... I am really sorree ‘bout last night. I shouldn’ have asked all those questions an’ I apologize if I-I made yeh uncomfort’ble.’”

 

I pick up my quill again and continue, mumbling as I write. “‘Et is no excuse, but I was slightly tipsy. One of two things happen when I get that way... I get either really overconfident... or jus’ curious an’ nosey...’” I take a breath and dip the quill in the ink. “‘Yeh saw last night. I really am sorree.’”

 

I sign my name and as I wait for the ink to dry, I think to add something.

 

(The next morning)

 

I slip into the tavern quietly, like usual. But, today, I am determined to remain unnoticed as I move to quickly put the letter in Krem’s lap before pretending to be headed to see Sera and Cole upstairs.

 

Obviously, the warrior sees me before I make it anywhere close to him. I just stay my course and refuse to look anywhere near his face as I all but shove the folded letter into his hand and turn away.

 

“Boss?” I hear Iron Bull call after me as I head up the stairs.

 

(Later)

 

“Why did Iron Bull ask me if you’re okay?” Josie asks as I sit with her around lunchtime. “He said you were acting odd.”

 

To keep my mind off my stupidness the night before with the Chargers, I made lunch for my girlfriend and I and brought it to her.

 

“Shadow.” She reaches across the space to grab my suddenly restless hand. “What’s wrong?”

 

I look up at her from my tea and sigh.

 

“I-I... well, I told yeh that last night Bull introduced meh teh the Chargers, right?” She nods and I go on. “I feel I may have accident’ly offended or, um, made Krem uncomfort’ble...”

 

“How?”

 

I look down at her desk and sigh again, unsure how to word it.

 

“I had... ah suspicion, I guess... that Krem isn’ ‘xactly who he seems. An’ et may have been found teh be correct.” I set my cup down in favor of running my hands through my hair. “I-I may have asked ah few questions that... well, seem really rude teh ask lookin’ back...”

 

“What was your suspicion, might I ask.”

 

I shake my head. “Sorree, Josie, but I don’ think et’d be m’ place teh tell yeh...” I catch her looking at me odd and wince when I realize how it sounds. “Et’s nothin’ bad! J-jus’ et was ah personal matter fer ‘im an’ I shouldn’ have pried the way I did... an’ now I feel like ah jerk.” I sigh and start to stand. “I-I think I’m gonnah go on ah walk.”

 

I leave before she has the chance to respond and I aimlessly wander the courtyard.

 

“Shadow.” I hear someone say my name and I stop, finding myself now standing near the horses. “Over here.”

 

Turning to the voice, I see Krem waving me over.

 

“U-uh, ‘ey.” I stutter and head to him. “Yeh need somethin’?”

 

“I read your letter.” He states plainly and I stiffen up, which he notices. “It’s fine. I was not mad at you.”

 

“Yeh...yeh weren’?” I ask incredulously. “I-I was so sure I had overstepped or somethin’.”

 

“You weren’t the first person that asked such questions when I told them.”

 

“They were still rude teh ask.” I say with a frown. “I’m sorree.”

 

“You are not gonna budge on that are you?” The warrior sighs and I huff. “Fine. I forgive you.” Then he adds in a grumble. “Wasn’t even mad...”

 

“Okay.” I smile awkwardly. “Did yeh want teh do somethin’? Spar maybe?”

 

“Actually, I was heading back to the tavern form speaking with Warden Blackwall when I saw you.”

 

“Gonna go stare at the bard more?” I tease and laugh at the tiny blush I can make out on tan skin. “I might as well just tell ‘er fer yeh at this point...”

 

“Don’t you dare.” His eyes narrow and I smirk before running off towards the tavern. “Get back here!”

 

(Even Later; that evening)

 

“You did not tell her?” My girlfriend asks as I finish telling her of my talk with Krem.

 

“Nope!” I say and move closer to her on the couch in front of the fire. “Jus’ kinda led ‘im ‘round the courtyard. He’s fast even wit’ that armor. Caught meh easily.” I chuckle then remember something. “O-oh yeah! Yeh know how yeh wanted teh know m’ suspicion, right?”

 

“Yes.” Is the slightly confused reply.

 

“I asked ‘im if et was okay teh tell yeh an’ he said et is...” I look into the fire, stealing glances at my lover as I speak. “Krem, he... he isn’ ah guy. An’ I had suspected that might’ve been the case, but I-I didn’ wannah ask an’ all that.”

 

“You did not know that?”

 

I snap my head to stare at her. “WHUT?! Yeh knew?”

 

“Do you really think Leliana and I are incompetent?” She says with a laugh.

 

“I-I...” I just sit there, slack-jawed, for a moment. “No?”

 

“Close your mouth, my love.” Her laugh fills the room.

 

I feel her fingers pushing my jaw back up and I blush.


	13. Prank

Prank

 

(Shadow)

 

I can’t help the smirk as Sera and I watch our latest prank unfolding: butter slathered on the grip of Cassandra’s practice sword.

 

“She’s gonnah be sooo pissed at us...” I laugh quietly as Cassandra walks to where she left her sword near the training dummy earlier. “Get down!”

 

We duck behind the edge of the wall, so the warrior won’t see us. Only peaking back again when we hear the loud, angry yell of our friend.

 

“SHADOW! SERA!” The Seeker yells, spotting us easily before we can duck again.

 

“RUN!!!” I shout and scramble away, my elven friend hot on my heels and both of us giggling maniacally. “Teh Josie’s office!”

 

“What have you two done now?” My girlfriend stops writing and looks up at us as we struggle to quickly close the door and bar it with a chair.

 

“Aw, and here I thought you’d be happy to see us, Josie.” Sera jokes and I can tell her using that nickname grates on Josephine’s nerves. Only Leliana and I are allowed to call her that, I guess. “Or at least happy to see her.” The elf points at me and my girlfriend sighs.

 

“What did you two do?”

 

“Ummm...” I begin, fiddling with my thumbs. “M-messed with Cass’ practice sword...” Her eyes widen for a moment before she glares at us, more specifically me as she knows I cannot hide things from her ever. “.......M-mightah put some butter... on the grip...”

 

She sighs, standing up. “I’m not going to protect you two this time. Move that chair back where it belongs, Shadow.” I stand there, avoiding looking at her. “ _ **Now**_.”

 

I startle and feel very much like a scolded child as I turn to pick up the offending chair easily.

 

“Wrapped around her finger, yeah?” Sera taunts when I stand next to her again and I pout a little. “She this bossy in bed?”

 

“I _can_ hear you.”

 

The door opens behind us and Cassandra walks in looking furious.

 

“Lady Mont-.” She stops when she notices Sera and I in front of her. “There you two are!”

 

“‘e-ey...” I chuckle, scared, and wave awkwardly. “Wh-whut can we do fer yeh?”A small ‘poof’ next to me and I do not even have to look to know Sera has fled, invisible. “She’s gone, isn’ she...”

 

“Yes.” Cassandra says and sighs, not looking as pissed off. “Why do you let her drag you into her schemes?”

 

Once more I feel like a scolded child as I hang my head slightly. “I... I dunno. Fun, I-I guess... Et keeps ‘er happy. An’ I like makin’ sure all yeh g-guys are happy...”

 

The warrior’s expressions softens. “Shadow...” I glance up at her. “As long as the two of you don’t cause damage or injure anyone... I won’t stop your little ‘pranks’.” I stare at her in shock, I thought for sure she was still angry. “However, if I hear that you two are getting out of hand, I will deal with you myself.”

 

With that she exits the office swiftly and I sink into a chair. “Woah.”

 

“Indeed.” Josephine says and gently seats herself on the arm of the chair I am in and I pull her onto my lap. “You can be very immature, Shadow.”

 

“I thought yeh loved that ‘bout meh...” I mumble into her neck, hugging her tight. “Love yeh.” I squeeze her a little when I get no response.

 

“Yes, yes. I love you, too.” She barely contains the small laugh as she says it. “I must get back to work.”

 

A whine escapes me before I can stop it and she sighs. She does that a lot...

 

“Perhaps I can stay here for a few more moments.” My Antivan girlfriend mumbles and relaxes in my arms a bit, turning her head to kiss me quickly. “I have a meeting in an hour.”

 

“So, we got time.” I smile at her.


	14. Circles?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s pretty short, but whatever. Hope you all like it.

__Circles?

(Josephine)

 

“DO YEH SEE M’ FACE, VIVIENNE?! DO YEH SEE M’ ARMS?!” I hear Shadow yelling and I stop in my tracks, changing direction to go up the stairs instead. “YEH KNOW THE SHIT THEY DID! TEH MEH AN’ SO MANY OTHERS! A-AN’ YEH WANT THE CIRCLES BACK?!?”

 

“My dear, you should really calm down.” Vivienne says as I reach the top of the stairs and enter the balcony area.

 

The two mages stand there, one very obviously furious and the other with her ever (sometimes annoyingly) present calm.

 

“Inquisitor.” I say as I reach out to touch my love’s arm. “Shadow.”

 

The silver haired young woman flinches away from my hand, but stops when she realizes it is me and lets me hold onto her hand. “Josie?”

 

“Vivienne, your time in the Circles was much different then most. I’m sure you can understand how Shadow might not see things things the same way as you on this matter.” I tell the older woman and she sighs, seeming about to say something, but I have turned my attention to my lover. “And you.” Shadow flinches slightly. “I know you are passionate about this topic, but you must not let your temper get out of hand, my love. Many eyes watch your every move and judge on what they have seen.”

 

“I-I know...” Shadow takes a deep breath before looking up at the other mage. “I’m sorree I lost m’ temper there, Vivienne...” A pause. “But, I-I cannot agree with yer idea of the Circles rebuilt.”

 

“I understand a lot more than you think, my dear.” Vivienne simply says before heading to the stairs. “Perhaps both of us should think on things a bit and return to this topic on another day when we are more... level-headed.”

 

Shadow nods and the older mage departs, leaving my love and I alone.

 

“...Befer yeh lecture meh, Josie... I-I’d jus’ like teh say I’m sorree an’... I didn’ mean teh yell.”

 

“I know you did not.”

 

 

(Later, Shadow)

 

“...Wh-when Vivienne told meh that she wanted the Circles back...” I mumble into my girlfriend’s undone hair as we relax on my bed that evening. “...I-I did think of... all the things the templars did, but...”

 

“But?” The woman shifts until she is looking at my face, waiting for me to continue.

 

“That wasn’ the full reason I reacted the way I did.” I continue and she raises an eyebrow at me. “...I-if the Circles were teh be reestablished, all the mages would be locked away again... includin’ meh...” I feel as if my heart is being crushed just thinking of it. “I-I wouldn’ be able teh ever see yeh again... J-Josie, I-I can’...” My eyes blur with tears and I bury my face against her shoulder.


	15. The Necklace (Part One)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this idea, so I started writing, but I really need to start getting ready to go to work...
> 
> Here’s what i got so far. Seems like a good place to cut it and continue in another part.

The Necklace

 

(Josephine)

 

“Where is et?!” Shadow is mumbling to herself as she rummages through things around her room. “N-nonononooo!”

 

“Where is what, my love?” I ask and she jumps slightly, turning to look at me.

 

“H-have yeh seen m’ necklace, Josie? I can’... I can’ find et anywhere!”

 

“The small silver chain you always wear even under your armor, with the three charms on it?” I ask and she nods vigorously. “With the wolf pendant, moon and star pendant, and the one of the Trevelyans’ horse?”

 

Her eyes light up even more then the almost ethereal glow the pale green always seems to have as she steps closer and grabs onto my hand.

 

“YES! P’ease tell meh yeh’ve seen et!”

 

“I have...” I start.

 

“Where?!” When I fail to answer her, she tilts her head slightly and appears to get worried. “Josie?”

 

“Well, I noticed it was old and rather tarnished.” I begin again. “So I thought you’d like to have it cleaned, the chain replaced perhaps...” Her eyes darken and she releases my hand to watch me closely. “Shadow, is something wrong?”

 

“Who’d yeh give et teh?” She demands. “Tell meh.”

 

“One of the scouts headed to Val Royeaux has it with a letter to give to the jeweler who usually cleans my jewelry.”

 

“Yeh sent et teh VAL ROYEAUX, Josephine?!” She rushes over to her Enchanter’s coat and the armored extras for it that she wears when venturing out of Skyhold and starts changing into it. “I-I need teh catch up teh ‘em... I-I need...”

 

“Shadow.” I try to get her attention, but she just moves past me towards her staff and high boots, tassels on the bottom of her coat brushing my leg as she goes by. “Why do you need to catch up to them? The necklace will be back in a week.”

 

“No.”

 

“Then let me help. I can send a message ahead and get them to wait.”

 

“Yeh’ve helped enough.” She huffs and heads to the stairs, but I stop her by grabbing her coat’s sleeve.

 

“Shadow, why...?” I try, however she cuts me off and pulls her arm free.

 

“Yeh gave the most important Trevelyan heirloom teh ah stranger, Josie! M’ necklace! That horse pendant is m’ fam’ly’s token fer the heir! The other two charms are just sentimental, but...!” She yells. “I-if I lose that... NO!” With a shake of her head, she runs down the stairs leaving me alone.

 

“Oh.” Is all I can say as I stand there in shock, realizing what I have done.

 

I had wondered why the horse seemed so much older than the wolf and the moon. With it’s faded engraving of the Trevelyan motto on the back... Now it makes sense...


	16. Advice, the Opera, and Pies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trespasser timeframe. XP

Advice, the Opera, and Pies

 

(Shadow)

 

“Ahh!” Cassandra startles when she turns and sees me behind her. “How do you always sneak up on me?!”

 

“Teh be fair, yeh did seem ah bit distracted there, Cass.” I chuckle before getting serious. “Is everythin’ alright?”

 

“Yes! Well, I... wanted to speak with you. And now you’re here.”

 

I raise an eyebrow at her nervous behavior. Nervous, not a word commonly used to describe my friend.

 

“Should I give yeh ah moment teh figure out whut yeh wannah say...?” I offer, pointing over my shoulder with my thumb.

 

“Always with clever suggestions.” We stand there for a second. “Maybe you should sit.”

 

“I can stand.” I answer, starting to worry.

 

“Maybe _I_ should sit.”

 

I watch the Seeker move to the stairs and sit down before joining her.

 

“Inquisitor, I want you to know that I am your friend. That I will always be your friend.”

 

“Uhhh, thanks, Cas-“

 

“So, I hope to give you sound advice on this momentous day.” She continues as if I hadn’t spoken. “Do what is in your heart, my friend. No matter what anyone might tell you.”

 

“Thank yeh? Um, I mean... thats ah... lovely sentiment, Cassandra.”

 

“Marriage is much more than a “lovely sentiment”, Inquisitor.”

 

“Whuuuu...?” I stare at her. “Hold on, m-marriage?!”

 

“Josephine is a wonderful woman, if you’re clear on your path t-“ She stops herself when she catches my confusion clear on my face. “You’re not proposing. To anyone.”

 

I vaguely hear my warrior friend mention something about Varric and killing him, so I assume he probably set her up, but I’m lost in my own thoughts. My hand unconsciously goes to the pouch on my grey and silver variant of my formal wear’s belt. Slipping inside, my fingers fiddle with the only thing I store in there.

 

A ring. One I had Harrit help me make and Dagna help me enchant with protection runes. Two House crests are engraved on it. The current one for the Montilyets’ and the other, the Trevelyans’.

 

Cassandra’s eyes are drawn to it when I take it out and she gasps.

 

“I-I’ve actually thought ‘bout et...” I mumble, watching the sunlight reflect on the gold with inlaid silver ring. “...I-I really love ‘er...”

 

“Well, being Inquisitor has brought you good things. Many good things.” She says, without the nervous tension this time. “But only a few have been by your choice. Take what happiness you can from those, and do not let them go. That is all I meant to say. Advice from a friend, for the days to come.”

 

I smile at her and hold out my hand. The Seeker grabs onto it firmly and pats my shoulder almost stiffly.

 

“Annn’... now we’re both awkward messes.” I laugh, letting go to look down at the ring in my other hand again. “I-I should see if Leliana is okay with meh askin’ though...”

 

“I doubt she would disapprove, Inqui-“ I glare lightly at her. “Shadow.”

 

“See, is et so hard teh use m’ name?”

 

The dark haired woman laughs and steps back a bit. “No, no, it isn’t.” We both look out over the view for a moment, leaning on the railing now. “Have you asked her parents?”

 

It’s my turn to laugh. “They’ve been pesterin’ us since the Breach was sealed, Cass. Ever since the duel... an’ then Luna appearin’... We managed teh get ‘em, an’ m’ own fam’ly, teh back off ah bit while we were busy with the hole in the sky, but...”

 

“These past two years they are at it again?” My friend offers and I nod. “Where is your daughter anyway?”

 

“Sera, Lace, an’ Dagna are watchin’ ‘er.” I tell her and she gasps. “Don’ worry, Bull an’ ‘is Charger’s are in the tavern, teh. An’ Maryden. Cole as well.”

 

“Oh, good.”

 

I simply sigh and look out over the landscape. “Josie wants teh go somewhere tehnight... jus’ meh an’ ‘er... I-I think... I might...”

 

“You should do it.”

 

“Huh?” I turn to her and see her kind smile.

 

(Later, at the show)

 

“I-I’m lost...” I mumble for what has to be the fifth time in the hour or two we have been watching.

 

“Oh, darling, I’ll explain later.” Josephine turns to me again and I smile awkwardly as I notice her gaze is drawn to my restless leg that I am trying not to bounce. “Are you alright?”

 

“H-huh?” I meet her eyes. “Oh! I’m fine.”

 

I see her eyes narrow in disbelief before she turns back to the performance, her hand that holds my own giving a light squeeze that I gladly return.

 

(Couple hours later)

 

“Bravo!” My girlfriend is yelling to the performers and I decide it is now or never, slipping the ring out of the pouch at my side again.

 

“J-Josie?”

 

“Shadow?” She looks at me as I get up and move into the tight space between her legs and the balcony railing, leaning down to be more at her level as she continues to sit. A light from the stage glints off the metal ring and she gasps. “Maker, is that...?! Are you...?!”

 

“Uh, y-yes?” I wince at the squeak that came out as and clear my throat. “Josephine Montilyet. I-I know our parents have kindah been i-impatient, but thats not m’ reason fer doin’ this...” I take a breath to calm myself. “I-I’m askin’ becauze I-I love yeh so much an’ I want everyone teh know et.” I need another breath. “S-so will yeh ma-“

 

“Yes!” She doesn’t let me finish, pulling me into a kiss.

 

“R-reall’?!!” I shout when we part and a few heads turn to watch us as they wait for the rush of people exiting the building to thin out.

 

“Yes, really, Shadow.” She chuckles and I think if something.

 

“M-maybe we should get back... Luna’s been with Sera an’ Harding an’ Dagna.”

 

“I don’t doubt Harding’s ability to keep those two in line, but yes, we should be getting back, my love.”

 

 

(Back at the tavern, Lace Harding)

 

“Sera, I’m not sure we should be teaching Luna how to throw pies...” I say as my girlfriends, Dagna and Sera, move the now 3 year old Luna’s arm in a throwing motion, explaining how to be more accurate.

 

“She already knows how to throw, Widdle! Just teaching her to aim.” Sera says back happily as the tiny pie in Luna’s hand hits the ground closer to the target when the girl releases it.


	17. The Struggles of Moving Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is after Trespasser. Maybe a year or so, I guess. Putting it roughly 3 to 4 years after the main game’s and the Descent’s stories.
> 
> -Luna is about 4 and she has started calling Josephine mommy while Shadow is still mama-

The Struggles of Moving Forward

 

(Shadow)

 

I try spinning my staff in my only hand once more before aiming what was supposed to be a spear of ice at the training dummy Josie’s parents set up for me (it was in an unused room in the manor, but after a few miscast spells, they had moved it outside). Instead of the sharp piece of ice embedding itself into the dummy’s head like I wanted, tiny pieces of ice come out the staff with a small poof and they fly in every direction.

 

“N-nooo...” I feel tears. “Why?!”

 

This has been happening ever since Solas took the Anchor and my arm needed to be cut off. I know my once friend and mage companion was trying to save me, but he has made it nearly impossible for my magic to work correctly.

 

I never had to practice single handed casting when I had both hands, so I didn’t... now i regret that choice.

 

“Shadow, are you still out here?” I hear Josephine’s sister calling from the doorway.

 

“‘Ey Yvette...” I sigh and the younger Montilyet walks out to sit on the bench I have sat on, eyeing my staff on the ground in front of me.

 

“No luck?” She asks and I nod, not tearing my own gaze from my staff. “Come on, let’s go inside. Josie’s finishing up her work and dinner is soon.”

 

“I-I’ll... be ah moment.” I mumble.

 

“Okay.” Is all she says and a hand rests on my shoulder briefly in a comforting gesture before she walks away.

 

(Josephine)

 

I stop my sister as she passes me.

 

“How is she doing?” I ask worriedly, glancing at my love through the window as I hold Luna’s small hand.

 

Yvette shakes her head and I feel any hope I had for today being the day my wife regains control of her magic crumble. “Not good.”

 

“No progress?” I ask already knowing the answer.

 

“No progress.” Yvette looks out the window with me.

 

“The magic. It used to be so easy... so very easy! Why?! Why...?” We both jump and turn to see a certain blonde spirit standing there, but he seems lost in his current task: reading Shadow’s mind. “Can barely feel it... used to be so nice... like a comforting blanket... always there to draw on when I need it... it’s still there... out of reach... can’t reach it. Can’t reach it!” His eyes focus on my sister and I, more specifically me. “She is lost without her magic. It’s all she’s ever known. Simple spells to make things easier, elaborate spells to impress, strong spells to protect those she loves...” I gasp at that and he simply vanishes.

 

(Shadow, a couple weeks later)

 

“Mama.” I hear Luna call to me as I sit on the chair near where she and a couple of the neighbor’s younger children are playing with blocks.

 

Josie invited them over to talk and I had to excuse myself as their questions about my past were getting to be a bit much. I understand they wanted to utilize the opportunity to ask me, the former Inquisitor, about my life, but it quickly felt like I was being interrogated.

 

“Whut’s up, girly?” I ask as I sit down with them on the rug, all sorts of toys scattered around the group of 3, 4, 5, and 6 year olds.

 

“Play with us!” A boy not much older then Luna says loudly and I chuckle.

 

“Okay, Ilo. Whut’re yeh guys playin’?”

 

“Mages versus Templars!” Ilo announces and I feel the smile drop from my face.

 

The war between the mages that simply wanted freedom instead of being locked away for being gifted with magic... and the templars who were trained from young ages, sometimes infancy, to secure and in some cases, remove magic from individuals... _That’s_ what it has been reduced to in the past 2 years since I pretty much ended it with the Inquisition?! _A_ _CHILDREN’S_ _GAME_?! ALL THOSE LIVES LOST! WHAT? THEY MEAN _NOTHING_?!

 

“I-I... I need teh go.” I rush to tell the children and run out the door, leaving the bewildered kids with the nannies watching over them again.

 

Luna’s nanny watches me worriedly as I leave and I know she is going to alert Josephine. My wife doesn’t think I know it, but I am well aware that all the staff in the Montilyet house report to her if I show signs of being upset.

 

(Josephine)

 

“Mommy!” Luna yells as she runs up with the other children in tow. “Mommy!”

 

“What’s wrong?” I ask and pick her up to set her on my lap. “What’s happened?”

 

“Shado-“ Ilo starts, but cuts off when he catches his mother’s glare at calling my wife by her first name without proper title. “Lady Shadow got really upset and ran out of the room when we asked her to join our game.”

 

I can already think of where this is going. I’ve heard of a children’s game that has grown in popularity recently that I am fairly sure would upset my love.

 

“And what game were you playing?” I ask carefully.

 

“...Mages versus Templars?” The boy offers weakly and I stand immediately, setting Luna down.

 

“I hopefully will not be long. I apologize for the interruption.” I tell the other adults.

 

“Nonsense, go. Your wife needs you.” One of my neighbor’s, Lord Guiverre, waves me off and I nod before rushing out the door.

 

I already know where she most likely went.

 

 

 

After some searching, I find her exactly where I thought I would. Why I didn’t bother checking our room right away, I do not know.

 

“Darling, is everything okay?” I ask as I approach where she sits on our bed, head in her hands.

 

She snaps her head up to see me and I hurry close to hug her when I see her tears.

 

“I-I...” She sobs. “S-so many of the mages from m’ C-Circle gone an’...” A louder sob and a sniffle as she buries her face in my shoulder. “an’ I-I learn... et’s ah ch-children’s game now?!”

 

“I do not think any of the mages or the former Templars approve of the game.” I tell her calmly. “I heard that it was banned in several cities; mainly where the mages relocated when we disbanded the Inquisition, but I heard Cullen and the men and woman with him on his land banned it as well.”

 

“N-not ‘ere in Antiva City?” She asks and moves to hug me back, sniffling. “Whut ‘bout Ostwick?”

 

“Your parents were quick to ban it with the help of the other families. Ostwick is an open haven for the Free Marches’ mages now, remember?” My love just grunts into my collar and I shift to kiss her forehead. “Sadly, it is not banned or restricted in any way here. Perhaps we should seek an audience with the Princes? They could help.”

 

“N-no.” Shadow mumbles and pulls away to look at me. “Et’s nothin’, but ah stupid little game... I shouldn’ have let et bother meh.” She sighs and turns her head to stare out our large window. “The kids don’ know a-an’ that’s ah good thin’... Teh ‘em et’s jus’ ah game... They didn’ need teh survive et.”


	18. Personality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was bored, so I took a personality quiz and it was very accurate. I then kinda came up with this. Shadow’s personality is the one I got and since Shadow is pretty much me, I made it the same.
> 
> Kinda guessed on Josephine’s.

Personality

(Shadow)

 

“Do you ever wonder why everyone is so different?” I ask my girlfriend as I lay on the couch with my head on her lap.

 

She shifts so she can see me, setting her book aside.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Like personality-wise, Josie.” I clarify. “I know ah lot of it has teh do with our fam’lies an ’ all that, but how much of et is _actually_ influenced by those outside forces? How much is... I dunno... us? Ourselves?”

 

“Where is this coming from, my love?” She asks.

 

“I-I jus’ was curious... I found this book an’ et had 16, I think, different personalities that the author has observed... I-I know m’ own personality kindah ch-changes weirdly, so I went with whut is ‘most common’ for et teh be... I-I guess the book called et the “Mediator”. Pretty much the idealist personality...” I end up mumbling and raise to sit next to her.

 

“I’d have to read more to know for certain, but it does seem accurate.” She says and squeezes my hand that I hadn’t noticed her grab.

 

“I-I tried teh find yers, teh.” I mumble and avoid her eyes. “Forgot whut the name was, but pretty much way more analytical then mine an’ much less wanderin’...” I snort a small laugh. “I think Yvette would prob’bly have the same one as meh.”

 

“And my father, too. Thank the Maker he has mother to ground him.” She smiles, obviously thinking of moments that prove her point.

 

I snuggle closer and bury my face into her neck. “An’ I’ve got yeh.”

 

I feel her skin heating up in what I assume is a blush before I feel her kiss the top of my head.

 

“That you do, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it was a short one. Sorry, not sorty.


	19. Magic and Paperwork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back with another chapter for this work! Sorry that it has been a while!
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy! Kudos and comments welcome!

Magic and Paperwork

 

(Shadow)

 

Cassandra hands me a staff as we head to the training area. The moment I take it from her, I have to drop it in disgust.

 

“What’s wrong?” My Seeker friend asks worriedly.

 

“Et’s ah pyromancer’s staff, Cass!” I huff and nudge the offending thing with my booted foot.

 

“Is there a difference?”

 

“Yes!” I yell before catching myself and sighing. “Sorree, I-I... I’ll use et... Et jus’ makes et ah tad harder teh use m’ ice when the staff wants teh channel fire instead.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah.” I mumble, reaching down to pick up the staff and walk ahead of my friend.

 

“You were in the Cryo School, right?” She asks as she walks next to me again.

 

“I’m still ah part of et even if there aren’ any Circles now.” I glare lightheartedly at her for a moment. “There are three base Schools. Cryo, Inferno, an’ Shock... Sometimes ah mage can be in more then one. If they showed ‘nough skill in both Schools.”

 

“Are you in more then one?”

 

“I did dabble in Shock some more then the basic control lessons, but not ‘nough fer meh teh be considered part of that School.”

 

“Interesting.”

 

(Later, Josephine)

 

A chilly wind blows through my office, snuffing my candles and shifting my papers. I already know the cause and I look up to see Shadow in the doorway to the main hall.

 

“Please relight my candles.” I tell her and glare at her grin. “I have work to do.”

 

“Aw, c’mon! Can’ yeh take ah break an’ come be wit’ meh fer ah...” I glare at her more and she cuts herself off. “Okay.”

 

A single touch is all she needs for the wicks to light again.

 

“Thank you.” I tell her and look at her as she comes around the desk to stand next to me. “I want to take a moment with you, Shadow. But, I am behind as it is.”

 

“Et’s fine.” The mage says and leans down to kiss my cheek. “I know yeh got ah lot teh do... I won’ bother yeh.” She fidgets slightly and avoids looking me in the eyes. “I-I... um... I love yeh, Josie.”

 

I take in her expression and her posture and that longer pause in her words. She’s terrible at hiding things.

 

“You are delaying reports of your own, aren’t you? The ones Leliana and I gave you this morning?” I ask and she startles. “Shadow... My love, you know you need to do those papers for th-“ 

 

“for the Inquisition teh succeed...” She cuts me off and finishes the sentence. “I-I know...” I rest my hand on her arm when she is quiet. “N-normally yeh know I don’ mind doin’ the work, but somedays m’ magic makes meh get antsy if I am forced teh sit still fer teh long. Or m’ head starts hurtin’... I tried teh do some this mornin’...”

 

“Is your head bothering you now?” I ask and her pale green eyes meet mine again.

 

“Nah, I went to see Solas an’ he helped stop et before he tried, again, teh teach meh some more practical, everyday, healin’ magic then whut I use in the field... think I-I understand et with how he explained et, but doin’ et on m’ own without ‘im or Vivienne or even Dorian teh guide meh through the process... is still ‘nother story...”

 

“I’m sure you will get it one day, my love.”

 

“Yeah...” She glances at my work. “I-I’ll stop distractin’ yeh.”

 

As the woman moves to leave I call her back over.

 

“Aren’t you forgetting to do something?” I ask with a small smirk.

 

“Oh!” She gasps, realizing what I mean, before leaning down to kiss me. “Love yeh.”

 

“I love you, too.” I tell her.

 

“Will yeh come outtah ‘ere fer dinner later?” She asks, still leaning close.

 

“Yes, I should be done by then.” She does not move, so I shove her playfully. “Go do your work, my love!”

 

My love laughs and heads to the door, turning to look at me. “See yeh later, Josie.” With that she exits my office.


End file.
